SNL returned tonight with Jim Parsons as the host, and it was a very blah episode, notable only for the debut of head writer Colin Jost as the new Update co-host, and we'll see how he did when we get to that segment. But there was really nothing memorable on tonight's first show back in a month.
COLD OPEN: It's an episode of Ellen, with Kate doing her funny impersonation as Ellen is excited about hosting the Oscars on Sunday. Jim makes an appearance early on as Johnny Weir in several crazy outfits, but this skit is pretty much just mediocre. It's a signal for what's coming the rest of the night.
MONOLOGUE: Jim comes out and sings about the differences between himself and Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, while other famous TV characters make fake cameos to chime in (Jay as Urkel, Taran as Fonzie, Bobby as Bill Cosby), but the whole thing is kind of boring.
PETER PAN: A pretty bad Peter Pan skit has Jim as Peter, but this is an Aidy sketch where she plays "Tonker Bell," Tinker Bell's rude sister. It's a variation on the same character Aidy always plays, and I am really, really getting sick of her. Nothing she has ever done has made me laugh in almost two years now. Her appeal is inexplicable.
BIRD BIBLE: Ad for parents teaching their kid a new version of the bible where everything is acted out by birds. Weird and random, unfortunately again, not funny.
THE KILLER FILE: Beck Bennett hosts a Dateline type show where they look at the "Dance Floor Killer," played by Jim, who stalked people on dance floors in the 70's and 80's. I guess this one's mildly amusing, but only because the bar has been set really low tonight.
12 YEARS A SLAVE AUDITIONS: Kenan does a good Steve McQueen impression as the crew of 12 Years a Slave auditions white people for the parts of slaveowners. The entire joke of this skit is that white people are uncomfortable acting like that until they find a genuine trailer park racist guy. This has been the joke for almost all of their racial humor lately, so it feels like we've seen it before, because...we have.
WEEKEND UPDATE: So this is what we've all been waiting for, as Colin Jost steps in for Seth Meyers and he and Cecily take over the Update desk. I'm sorry to say that he seems like kind of a drip. I know I sound grumpy tonight, but I see nothing special about his delivery, and Cecily herself hasn't been that great, so I maintain that by next season, Lorne Michaels should give Beck Bennett a shot at this. With his deadpan delivery I can see him being a throwback to somebody like Kevin Nealon. I just don't see this panning out. The guests are Kenan and Jay as Charles Barkley and Shaq again, but Taran's critic Jebediah saves Update with a funny return to critique the Oscar nominees. The one bright spot of the night.
MURDER MYSTERY DINNER: This is a spoof on those weird outings where people solve fake murders, and Jim is the perplexed, confused one, but there are just no jokes in this sketch. Nothing works and it's too long. Ugh, getting fed up with this episode.
SPOTLIGHTZ ACTING CAMP: Vanessa and her acting kids are back to act out scenes from the Oscar nominees. It's ok- but seriously, I thought this skit was funny the first time I saw it, but every time after that it's just gotten weaker. It needs to be retired, the joke is old by now.
ELEVATOR RIDE: A mild skit about a boss (Jim) who shits his pants and stinks up the elevator as employees keep getting in. This has the same problem every skit tonight has suffered from- they have a premise and then they have no other jokes to pad out the sketch.
OLD WEST: The last skit of the night is unusually long, and not that funny but not too bad either, as a bunch of cowboys try to decide what to get the leader for his birthday. Jim wants to pop out of the ground naked to surprise him and they tell him it's a bad idea. He doesn't listen. It's mildly amusing at best.
And that's it for tonight. Colin debuts with a whimper and Jim doesn't really bring much to the hosting position (sometimes that's really what elevates the horribly weak writing on SNL- just watch Drake's episode for proof). Disappointing. I give tonight a D+. Next week, It's Lena Dunham (GAH- I may have to take something to myself through that one) and the musical guest is The National. Hopefully it's better than tonight, but I do not have a lot of hope given the host. See you then!
