Well, as has become routine, welcome to another terrible episode of SNL, concluding what's been a truly dismal past three weeks. I don't think they've had a decent episode since Drake hosted- maybe they ought to get him back quick. Or, you know- fire their entire writing staff. That could only be a plus at this point.
COLD OPEN: A fairly lame opening with the faces of the "new GOP" coming to Coachella to attract young voters. This could have been a LOT funnier if there were any actual pointed punchlines in here, but as it is, it's weak.
MONOLOGUE: This will turn out to be the one bright spot in the episode, as Seth Rogen comes out for his third hosting stint and reads from his diary for his week at SNL. He's interrupted by cameos from Zooey Deschanel, James Franco and Taylor Swift, and even pokes fun at James Franco for his recent mini-scandal trying to pick up a 17-year-old. It's funny, but the rest will be downhill.
JUST SAY NO: Oh, crap. Nasim's horrible, horrible, drug kid sketch is first? That's a bad sign. It's no funnier than it's ever been, although since Nasim's been missing in action practically all season long, I wonder if this is a way of making up for that. A better way would have been to give her something funny to do.
CNN PREGNANCY TEST: Vanessa and Beck in an ad for a pregnancy test that gives news alerts from CNN. The premise that CNN sucks is good, but there's no real jokes in it other than that.
BIRTHDAY DINNER: An inexplicable Aidy sketch that has her as a woman with broken arms whose boyfriend has to do everything for her at a restaurant. Again, what the hell is funny about Aidy, ever? She's the same in every single thing she does, and she's always dead air on the screen. I'm at a loss as to why she gets so much air time. Who there thinks she's so hysterical? Really, I want names.
MONSTER PALS: A recorded bit about monsters who want to look like humans and one gets surgery to do it. This is a really odd, weird one- not exactly funny, but so weird that you should maybe watch it? I don't know on this one- maybe there's a joke in there that would hit some people's funny bones, but it's too bizarre for me to tell.
BLUE RIVER DOG FOOD: Seth and Cecily in an informercial for dog food, and both start to yell at each other about their last brand. Ok, Seth and Cecily really go for it in this one, and so much so that it proves to me that the cast, as usual, is probably not the problem with most of these skits. The acting's good on this, and the effort is 110% but the laughs and the jokes, just are not there. These horrible writers do their game cast a disservice every week.
WEEKEND UPDATE: A couple of solid jokes this week from the anchors, but Kenan isn't great as David Ortiz explaining his product placement selfie with Obama, and then Vanessa comes on as Jacob, which I could have sworn was a character they retired after Seth Meyers left. Which again, proves to me that the writers are totally bankrupt and can't even afford to retire their (overdone) characters because they've got nothing else to replace them with. Really pathetic, people.
COUSIN STACY: Cecily is a white trash cousin who outs Seth at his engagement party- it's lame and unfunny, what can I say? I've sort of lost all hope at this point in the night.
UNDERCOVER SHARPTON: Another premise that really should have slayed if there were some actual jokes in it. Kenan is Al Sharpton in the 70's during his FBI informant days- now you'd think that'd be ripe for some big laughs, right? Not so much here, and it's really inexcusable.
A VERY SMOKY 4/10: A pre-recorded bit from Kyle about smoking and selling weed, with Seth making his mandatory weed joke as the dealer, but it sucks. I've never found any one of his tapes funny, ever. God, I'm getting angry at this episode.
SPERM WAREHOUSE: Thankfully we're on the last one, and of course it's no better than the rest, as Kenan and Seth advertise that everything's up for grabs in their going out of business sale at the sperm warehouse, which they're turning into a yogurt factory. Blah.
God, that was torture. Or maybe my tolerance for this is wearing low after so many subpar episodes in a row. I never have high expectations for this show, the most you can hope for is something hitting every once in a while, but man, they're in freefall. I thought the writer's room would improve when Seth Meyers left, but is it possible he was the head writer because everyone else was truly worse than him? Yikes. Get rid of everybody, Lorne. Andrew Garfield is hosting on May 3rd, but right now I'm just hoping to get through the rest of the season without wanting to blow a hole through my TV when I watch this show. This one gets a D- and that's lenient.
