So after the SNL 40 celebration left me feeling nostalgic and a little more affectionate towards the show than I have in a while, it's time to get back to the actual season at hand, where we have one of the most no name hosts in many years, hosting what basically amounts to another mediocre, middling entry in a bad season overall. Yeah, that sounds about right, doesn't it?
COLD OPEN: So we start off with a Rudy Giuliani skit mocking his "Obama doesn't love America" comments (boy does that seem like an old story now), but it quickly turns into a BIrdman parody (with Taran mixing his Giuliani and Michael Keaton facial expressions quite nicely). Ok, so this is the third time in a week that I've seen this exact same Birdman spoof (the Indie Spirits, the Oscars, and now this), but I guess that speaks to how unique the movie was. What it doesn't speak to is the creativity of the SNL writers, but then again what does?
MONOLOGUE: Dakota Johnson comes out onstage, solely because of who her parents are- if you didn't know, they're Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson, and they're both in the audience tonight to watch their kid try to be a celebrity like them. Yes, Dakota's in 50 Shades of Grey, but since that movie came out two weeks ago now, and it's the only thing she's ever really done, this an entirely self-promoting, make me more famous stint here tonight, so I kind of resent that.
ISIS: An ad that starts off about a dad (Taran) ostensibly dropping his daughter off at college, only to show that he's actually dropping her off to join an ISIS recruitment truck. It hits the mark.
CINDERELLA: Ugh- Cecily's horrible Cathy Ann character sucks the life out of every sketch she's in, and here she shows up to ruin an already bad Cinderella skit. Seriously, does anyone like this character? Anyone?
SAY WHAT U WANT: A video about the women of SNL foregoing niceties to say what they really feel to annoying co-workers and acquaintances they don't really like. It's okay.
50 SHADES PRESS TOUR: Dakota sits for junket interviews about the movie, but is interviewed by Kyle's Peter, an awkward middle-schooler who saw the movie for his school newspaper. This isn't really funny, it's just kind of lame.
I CAN'T: Cecily (in her annoying teenage voice), Dakota and Bobby mock hipsters who continually use the words "I can't" and "literally" all the time. It eventually bothers fellow worker Aidy so much she falls out the window- you do hear those words a lot, but again, this is bad. Just not funny.
UPDATE: Colin and Michael do some ISIS jokes and of course comment on "the dress" controversy that seems to have engulfed the entire world in the last two days (for the record, all I see is white and gold), but this is actually the first time I've cottoned to the observation that these guys might actually hate each other. I don't know what it is, but I'm starting to notice it blatantly now. Weird. Kate comes on as Ruth Bader Ginsberg and is funny as usual, while Jay shows up as Kanye to sing his apology song to all the people he's dissed. Finally, Riblet shows up again to briefly do Update better than either of the actual anchors (and I don't think Riblet is that hilarious, but seriously, Bobby can do this gig better than Jost or Che).
WORF: A bit of a random skit that sees Kenan in a Star Trek: Next Gen Worf costume come in as a doctor supposed to save a patient, but his cosplaying distracts the nurses and patient's relatives. Ok, so this isn't funny at all, but I assume they did this as some kind of Leonard Nimoy tribute? Yeah, it ends with a still of Nimoy and his Vulcan salute. Well, that's nice, but maybe, I don't know, do some kind of skit that had something to do with the show that Spock was actually on? Just a suggestion.
NET NEUTRALITY: Sasheer hosts a panel of nerds supposed to explain net neutrality and none of them can do it. Very long, very boring and very stupid.
BULLYING: Great, we end with a Kyle and Beck thing. Why do they keep doing these? They're the hipster guys who try to do some anti-bullying PSA's- eh. Don't care. Every time I see Beck now I desperately want him to be tried out on Weekend Update. I can't stop thinking that he'd be a perfect anchor if they just tried. C'mon Lorne!
So, that was it tonight. Pretty mild overall, but you may notice I barely mentioned Dakota all night long, and that was because she was one of those hosts who I kept forgetting was actually hosting. She was mainly shoved to the side and faded into the background of the skits, so I'm guessing she doesn't have a whole lot of comedic chops. But hey, at least she's got famous parents. Next week it's Chris Hemsworth (expect a Thor sketch), so come back for that one. Tonight gets a C-. See you later everyone!
