RECAP: SNL 3/01 "Jim Parsons"

SNL returned tonight with Jim Parsons as the host, and it was a very blah episode, notable only for the debut of head writer Colin Jost as the new Update co-host, and we'll see how he did when we get to that segment. But there was really nothing memorable on tonight's first show back in a month.

COLD OPEN: It's an episode of Ellen, with Kate doing her funny impersonation as Ellen is excited about hosting the Oscars on Sunday. Jim makes an appearance early on as Johnny Weir in several crazy outfits, but this skit is pretty much just mediocre. It's a signal for what's coming the rest of the night.

MONOLOGUE: Jim comes out and sings about the differences between himself and Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, while other famous TV characters make fake cameos to chime in (Jay as Urkel, Taran as Fonzie, Bobby as Bill Cosby), but the whole thing is kind of boring.

PETER PAN: A pretty bad Peter Pan skit has Jim as Peter, but this is an Aidy sketch where she plays "Tonker Bell," Tinker Bell's rude sister. It's a variation on the same character Aidy always plays, and I am really, really getting sick of her. Nothing she has ever done has made me laugh in almost two years now. Her appeal is inexplicable.

BIRD BIBLE: Ad for parents teaching their kid a new version of the bible where everything is acted out by birds. Weird and random, unfortunately again, not funny.

THE KILLER FILE: Beck Bennett hosts a Dateline type show where they look at the "Dance Floor Killer," played by Jim, who stalked people on dance floors in the 70's and 80's. I guess this one's mildly amusing, but only because the bar has been set really low tonight.

12 YEARS A SLAVE AUDITIONS: Kenan does a good Steve McQueen impression as the crew of 12 Years a Slave auditions white people for the parts of slaveowners. The entire joke of this skit is that white people are uncomfortable acting like that until they find a genuine trailer park racist guy. This has been the joke for almost all of their racial humor lately, so it feels like we've seen it before, because...we have. 

WEEKEND UPDATE: So this is what we've all been waiting for, as Colin Jost steps in for Seth Meyers and he and Cecily take over the Update desk. I'm sorry to say that he seems like kind of a drip. I know I sound grumpy tonight, but I see nothing special about his delivery, and Cecily herself hasn't been that great, so I maintain that by next season, Lorne Michaels should give Beck Bennett a shot at this. With his deadpan delivery I can see him being a throwback to somebody like Kevin Nealon. I just don't see this panning out. The guests are Kenan and Jay as Charles Barkley and Shaq again, but Taran's critic Jebediah saves Update with a funny return to critique the Oscar nominees. The one bright spot of the night.

MURDER MYSTERY DINNER: This is a spoof on those weird outings where people solve fake murders, and Jim is the perplexed, confused one, but there are just no jokes in this sketch. Nothing works and it's too long. Ugh, getting fed up with this episode.

SPOTLIGHTZ ACTING CAMP: Vanessa and her acting kids are back to act out scenes from the Oscar nominees. It's ok- but seriously, I thought this skit was funny the first time I saw it, but every time after that it's just gotten weaker. It needs to be retired, the joke is old by now.

ELEVATOR RIDE: A mild skit about a boss (Jim) who shits his pants and stinks up the elevator as employees keep getting in. This has the same problem every skit tonight has suffered from- they have a premise and then they have no other jokes to pad out the sketch.

OLD WEST: The last skit of the night is unusually long, and not that funny but not too bad either, as a bunch of cowboys try to decide what to get the leader for his birthday. Jim wants to pop out of the ground naked to surprise him and they tell him it's a bad idea. He doesn't listen. It's mildly amusing at best.

And that's it for tonight. Colin debuts with a whimper and Jim doesn't really bring much to the hosting position (sometimes that's really what elevates the horribly weak writing on SNL- just watch Drake's episode for proof). Disappointing. I give tonight a D+. Next week, It's Lena Dunham (GAH- I may have to take something to myself through that one) and the musical guest is The National. Hopefully it's better than tonight, but I do not have a lot of hope given the host. See you then!

RECAP: Justified 5x07 "Raw Deal"

Welcome back everybody! Justified returned tonight with a surprisingly routine episode, mostly filler even, aside from an important character's death in the very last scene. This served mostly as set-up for several storylines and a procedural throwaway plot for Raylan, and was even shorter than usual, clocking in at 43 minutes rather than the usual 47 or 48. 

But we start off with the Crowes, Darryl and Danny, packing up to take off for their mystery job with Boyd, leaving Kendall to tend bar, even though Darryl questions him for looking a little nervous, still a result of the murder he witnessed. Danny gives him a look of warning as they walk out. At the prison with a short-haired Ava (whose new hairdo is conveniently stylish given that she had to chop it off herself with a razor blade), she's waiting around at visiting hours for Boyd to show up while Penny taunts her that all the men stop coming to visit eventually. Ava looks wary as she realizes Boyd isn't coming. Boyd and the Crowes bust into Johnny and Hot Rod's place to find it abandoned, Johnny having already made the trip to Mexico. Boyd threatens to go anyway while Jimmy asks him what to do with the Crowes and Boyd stares at them in silence.

At the marshal's office, Raylan is dismayed to find out he's been put on walk-in duty, and not from Art, when he's accosted by a guy named Larry who claims his gambling money's been seized by the marshals, after they shut down the website he won it on. Raylan is mildly disinterested, but perks up when he sees that the site was only faked to look like it'd been shut down by them, and that it was being run by a guy who worked for Charles Munroe. Larry takes off and Raylan complains to Tim and Rachel about being put on walk-in duty, while they find out that a guy named TC runs the site. It looks like he scammed the money out of Larry, but it belongs to the marshals, so Raylan volunteers to go after him. 

We now find the TC guy playing games online while his girlfriend Candice looks on, and Larry bursts into his apartment with a henchman of his own, demanding his money. TC denies having it and denigrates Candice's computer skills while he's at it, but when the muscle man (whose name is Kemp) threatens Candice, she rats him out. Larry secretly records the confession with his phone and threatens TC with the police, but when Kemp finds out it was $250,000 at stake, he blows Larry away and demands the money for himself. At the prisonyard Ava watches Penny and the group of religious prisoners listening to the "heavenly mother," and later meets up with the leader and Penny about getting herself protection by joining the group. This leader (who may be recognizable as the meth whore on Breaking Bad) tells Ava the real reason they're not messed with is because they bring in the drugs for the prisoners. They offer Ava the job of bringing them in, with Penny showing her the ropes.

In Mexico, Johnny has shown up with his new crew, and they meet up with the guys who work for Yuen, telling them he's willing to outbid Boyd if they'll hear his proposition. Johnny gets in the car to go meet Yuen personally and is taken there with a bag over his head. Wendy Crowe runs into Alison at her office, taunting her about Raylan, saying she's going to seduce him, and that she came in to see her boss, presumably to get her fired. We're back in Mexico now, as Boyd is also brought to the Yuen mansion with the bag on his head, but when he's taken inside he sees that Johnny beat him to the punch. Boyd is upset by this and he and Johnny banter back and forth until Yuen shows up to hear the both of them out. Johnny claims he can pay $1 million for the heroin but Boyd tries to sell him short, not believing he can really get the cash. Yuen puts them both in handcuffs and simply says that if Johnny can follow through they'll go with the highest bidder.

Back at TC's place, he's wiping the blood off the floor when Raylan shows up outside, and Kemp takes Candice with him at gunpoint, telling TC he's got a day to get the money to him before she's toast. Raylan passes the two on the way up the stairs, catching on as usual that something's up, but only knowing for sure when he makes his way into TC's wrecked and bloody apartment. TC attempts to stall for a second but then makes a run for it, throwing himself and what turns out to be his prosthetic leg out the window with the money while Raylan watches him take off from upstairs, flipping him the bird on the way. Raylan is fairly impressed at the guy's agility, and relays it to the marshal's office later, which is kind of funny. He begs to be the one to bring the guy in, or at least help, but Tim and Rachel say no (chief's orders again) while Raylan sulks. Later at his desk he replies to TC's blog post, where he had taunted Raylan about ditching him, when Alison calls to tell him Wendy got her suspended.

Back in Mexico, Boyd and Johnny sit outside in their cuffs, reminiscing about their high school days- apparently Boyd set Johnny up with his crush only to sleep with her later himself. They seem to recall that things weren't always bad between them, but Johnny's not looking to make up when the car pulls up with the money he promised Yuen. As promised, Yuen goes with the highest bidder and Johnny's uncuffed while Boyd is handed over to him to do with what he wants, as long as he's not killed on this side of the border. If you're thinking Boyd's been suspiciously laid back and calm about this whole thing, you'd be right, as we'll soon see.

Raylan and Alison are on a date at the bar, drinking as she tells him all about what Wendy said to her, seeming a little concerned about Raylan succumbing to her feminine wiles, but Raylan laughs it off in his flirtatious way. The bartender suddenly comes over to tell him his card's been declined, and when Alison takes off he gets a phone call from TC, who informs him he's emptied all his bank accounts and again taunts Raylan to come after him. Raylan jumps at the chance as the two exchange mildly amusing insults, but to be honest, this little hacker plot is pretty weak tonight. At the office Tim has their own computer guy trace the call, where they find out it's coming from a hotel and plan to raid the place.

Wendy is all dressed up and on her way out of the bar, ignoring Kendall, who tries to talk to her but backs off, deciding to call his "Uncle Jack" instead, asking him if he's located anywhere near Kentucky lately. At the prison, Penny takes Ava to go see the guard and janitor, who smuggle the drugs in to them in exchange for, as it turns out, sexual favors, which Penny goes off to perform for the guard in the bathroom. Ava balks at this, and when the janitor's back is turned, places the heroin back in his mop kit. At the hotel, Kemp is sitting around with Candice when the marshals raid the room, Raylan at the helm, but bummed to find out TC is nowhere to be found. It's not a big deal though, as it turns out Candice is willing to sell him out because of his earlier denigration of her own hacking abilities. The marshals then find TC in the basement of his grandma's house and take him in, making this particular case of the week one of the easiest in the history of Justified, I'm pretty sure. As Raylan takes TC to jail in the car, he warms to the guy, who tries to butter him up by offering to return his money and admitting he only uses his skills to fix radio shows and win free TV's.

Back at the office, Rachel informs Raylan that Wendy fixed the Miami judge so that Darryl Crowe does not have to leave the state and when Raylan realizes this is the third piece of information not directly relayed to him by Art, he storms in to confront his boss. Art is still pissed at him but Raylan demands he quit the silent treatment and either treat him like a deputy again or transfer him to another state because he's not quitting. Art is unsure, but Raylan says he's taking two weeks off to go see Winona and the baby, and when he comes back he better have made up his mind. Ava's at her bunk now, awaiting the confrontation from the preacher woman and Penny, who tell her that the janitor was busted with the drugs earlier, thus cutting off their supply. Ava offers to get the heroin herself and is taken up on this by the older woman, who shows off her battle scars and hopes out loud Ava didn't put them all at risk to avoid screwing the guard. Penny then mentions to Ava that if she can really get the drugs she can help her get them inside. Ava looks worried as the two leave her on her own.

Raylan's drinking now with Wendy, who's doing her best to win him over, but he's not falling for it, telling her he's researched her and he knows she never finished law school because she's always stuck at the hip to Darryl and the family. He also spills the beans about Darryl killing their brother in the first episode of the season, which she's shocked by and refuses to believe. Raylan tells her to help him get Darryl so she can cut ties and save herself, and then he leaves her with the tab as she appears to consider it. Finally, we come to the last scene of the episode, as Johnny and his guys load Boyd out of the car and in front of a truck that should be filled with the drugs, but as it turns out- yeah, Boyd's guys are all in there and they jump out and surround Johnny and his posse, who give up, realizing Yuen was in on it all along. Johnny wants to know why he doesn't just kill him, and Boyd says he'll die but not in that desert, and tells his crew that they'll go back to working for Hot Rod as soon as they get the heroin across the border. The guys agree to that but something about that arrangement strikes the Crowes the wrong way, as they exchange looks, and Danny pretends that he suddenly has no choice but to open fire on all of Dunham's guys, under the pretense of shouting first that he was responding to the first shot. Chaos ensues and now all the crew is dead, while Johnny looks on and laughs at Boyd, who's lost control of his own people. Boyd responds by shooting Johnny dead (bye Johnny) and proceeding to call Yuen, telling him they have a problem.

So that ends what for me was the weakest episode of the season. The hacker guy was kind of lame and Ava now feels like she's on another show, one that looks to continue for the rest of the season, much to my annoyance, although needing to get heroin into the prison at least looks like it will tie back into Boyd's story somehow. The war with Johnny ended far sooner than I would have liked, so it looks like the Crowes will end up being the main villains of this year, but with so much blood shed already this season I hope what ultimately happens with them won't feel anticlimactic. Tune in next week as the season goes on and hopefully Raylan gets a far more compelling storyline (he is our hero after all) than the one he had tonight. Until then!

2014 Satellite Awards- TV Winners

Here's what the International Press Academy liked in TV last year. Lots of love for Breaking Bad and Orange is the New Black:

• Drama Series: Breaking Bad
• Genre Series: Game of Thrones
• Drama Actor: Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
• Drama Actress: Robin Wright, House of Cards
• Comedy/Musical Series: Orange is the New Black
• Comedy Actor: John Goodman, Alpha House
• Comedy Actress: Taylor Schilling, Orange is the New Black
• Supporting Actor: Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad
• Supporting Actress: Laura Prepon, Orange is the New Black
• Miniseries/TV Movie: Dancing on the Edge
• Actor in a Miniseries/TV Movie: Michael Douglas, Behind the Candelabra
• Actress in a Miniseries/TV Movie: Elisabeth Moss, Top of the Lake

REVIEW: "Downton Abbey" Season 4

By now, fans of Downton Abbey have come to know what to expect from this show. There are those who say it was never as good as it was in the first season, but I don't see how it drastically  changed from that season at all. To me, Downton has always been a lavish period soap opera from day one (was Mary's suddenly dead lover any less melodramatic than the burned soldier or Sybil's deathbed?) So it's always been easier for me to enjoy the show without nitpicking it to death like its most devoted obsessives, who seem to expect a lot more out of it than I ever did.

So on that basis, I though the fourth season was a consistent continuation of the series, with some highly dramatic moments (the pattern seems to be to employ one really major, life-altering character event per season), mixed with the only thing that really does bother me about Julian Fellowes' writing- his constant tendency to  introduce interesting stories, only to have them peter out and never go anywhere by the end of the season. All that setup for nothing.

I'll start with the big shocking moment of the year- Anna's rape in Episode 3. The entire episode was actually terrific, Downton Abbey at its best, with the whole cast being put to good use as the Crawleys threw a big party, the downstairs people having to mix it up with the upstairs set, and the smooth, Altman-esque fast-moving rhythm between all the characters was top-notch. Then comes the horrifying moment where Anna is cornered by the villainous Mr. Greene, the valet for one of Lady Mary's visiting suitors, who beats her and rapes her in the abandoned kitchen while everyone else is upstairs in the audience for a concert performance. This action set up the potential for a ripple effect that could have involved several characters, and the fallout was ultimately minimized to the point where it seems hugely obvious that Fellowes blew all possibilities to mine any good drama from this situation. It causes a problem for Anna and Bates, yet all the tension seems to be directed toward the question of what Bates will do about it, and that goes on for the rest of the season, only to amount to something that may or may not have happened off screen. I mean, what was that about? They tease Thomas's potential involvement (he keeps trying to find out what happened) only to have that completely fizzle out, when it could have provided a great story line of its own (can you imagine Thomas and Bates teaming up, or having this revelation change his own relationship with Anna?) I'm playing the writer here, but I can't help it, as I was practically shouting at the TV screen while watching this whole thing come to nothing, because the potential for explosives was so great and so completely knocked down.

So that was a major letdown to something that could have been one of the show's most intriguing storylines ever but the rest of the season was harmless fun as usual. Rose embarked on an interracial romance with a jazz singer (also a potentially interesting situation that again went nowhere- come on, Fellowes), and Mary was dogged by three separate suitors who are all in love with her and wanting to fight for her, even though she's not quite over Matthew's death. I know that Julian Fellowes has stated that from his point of view, the show is about Mary and Mary's love life more than anything else, and that's very obvious when you watch it, but these three guys were frankly interchangeable and boring, so count me as someone who hopes they suddenly shake things up by putting her with Tom next season. It won't happen but he's also one of the better characters on the show, still the out of place former chauffeur who lives on the estate with the family for his daughter's sake, but saddled with a very unlikable love interest, so I say have Tom and Mary ditch the dull outsiders for each other. Edith finally got some action this season too, as she had an affair with the married older man Michael Grayson, only for him to mysteriously vanish in the bowels of pre-Nazi Germany, leaving her stranded and pregnant, forced to make a disappearance of her own in order to have the baby and give it up for adoption in secret.

As for the downstairs cast, there was the ongoing endless flirtation between Daisy, Aflred, Ivy and Jimmy, a love square that also, again, went nowhere, not that this particular plot (by far the weakest of the past two seasons) created any rooting factor at all regarding any of those minor characters. At least it served to have jettisoned the characters of Ivy and Alfred entirely by the end of the year, good news only because it squashes that boring subplot. And the show continues to not know what to do with Thomas, preferring to keep him on the fringes of the action most of the time, which is a shame because Rob-James Collier is absolutely hilarious in this role and steals scenes whenever he appears by virtue of his smarmy delivery of just two or three lines- he's like the british James Spader. The nicest ongoing arc is the Remains of the Day-esque unspoken but clearly affectionate relationship between Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes, the heads of staff who get the last lovely moment of the season, as they stroll down the seaside hand in hand.

The good thing about Downton Abbey, what makes it eminently watchable is the fact that the cast is so huge and so sprawling (and usually all good except Elizabeth McGovern as Cora, who I'm sorry to say has either become bored with this role or forgotten how to emote) that if you're sick of watching one person or bored with a particular story line, you never have to stay with anyone longer than 2-3 minutes, as the show jumps back and forth between so many different characters all the time, and quickly enough so that it's always fast-paced and never dull in execution at least. The Christmas special this year was one of the best episodes, simply due to all the opulence put into Rose's debutante ball, the costumes, the dances and the presence of royalty on the estate and Paul Giamatti in a guest spot as Uncle Harold (he's so good that I hope he comes back next year). It remains a fun, mostly absorbing show and now that I'm this far in, I'll be sticking with the Crawleys till the end.

Grade: B+

FEATURETTE: "Veep" Season 3

A behind the scenes look at the upcoming season 3 of HBO's Veep, starting April 6th. Can't wait!

REVIEW: "House of Cards" Season 2

(Warning: this review is very spoiler-filled)

Season 2 of Netflix's House of Cards is essentially more of the same. If you loved the first season I'm sure you'll love this one as well, and if like me, you had reservations about it, those reservations are more or less still there, although I did look at the series from a slightly differently angle this time around.

Kevin Spacey is once again Frank Underwood, the former House majority whip now turned Vice-President of the United States, thanks to his scheming and maneuvering his way into power last year. Of course, as you'll remember his evil deeds last season eventually amounted to the murder of the show's most sympathetic character, and while I think you were supposed to feel the drama of that moment as if it was something he'd never submitted to before- this season Frank's just murdering people left and right, as the shocking moment in the first episode shows us. To be honest, I actually kind of like that better, as I now see the show as a trashy, political soap opera and I'm able to enjoy it more on that level. This is basically Scandal with bigger names and a bigger budget.

The show still takes itself too seriously though, as there is so much time spent in the weeds of political machinations, getting bills through Congress and an awful lot of talk about Chinese politics and foreign affairs that amounts to nothing really- it just seems like a way for Beau Willimon to show off how much he knows about the details of how Washington supposedly works (they also purposely tie in timely topics like rape in the military and continue to use real life cable hosts for numerous cameos). But that pretense of realism clashes with the fact that our main character is a vice-president who personally murders people on a whim, has threeways with his bodyguard, and sabotages the president of the United States, forcing him out of office so that he can take his place less than a year after he's been sworn in himself. I mean, come on- the actual events on this show are ludicrous and would be better served by a trashier, less self-serious tone, since the actors remain pretty great overall.

Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright remain the Clinton-esque, devious power couple who destroys everything in their way, but even though Spacey is entertaining as always, I find myself rooting against them through virtually every scheme they concoct, hoping the people who suspect them of evil might actually come through for once. Frank and Claire Underwood are not antiheroes, they're more like straight villains, given even less dimension this time around as they manipulate their path to even more power and crush plenty of innocents along the way. The difference between an antihero and a villain is that the viewer kind of wants the antihero to succeed in the bad things they do- but me, I just can't wait to see the Underwoods taken down in each and every episode. Unfortunately that never happens and there's not even a hint that it might, as anyone who dares to threaten them is quickly crushed like a bug- that may be a problem in the future as far as creating tension, but if the show's following the British version, then this all has to lead to Frank's downfall eventually, so I can wait.

Despite some of my issues with the show it does remain eminently watchable. The cast is uniformly great, and the additions this year of Molly Parker as the new majority whip and now regular Michel Gill as Garrett Walker, the weakest, most pathetic fictional president in U.S. history, fit smoothly into the ensemble. I also enjoyed the increased presence of Mahershala Ali as Frank's former ally Remy Danton, and Reg E. Cathey as Freddie, the owner of the BBQ joint and maybe the one guy with the hint of a soul on this show. I will say that no one quite replaces Corey Stoll's role last year as the one genuinely good person in the series, and that does leave a hole, because it so hard to root for any of these people, seeing as they're all so despicable. But House of Cards remains intriguing, and I'm still hooked to see where Frank's antics end up taking him in seasons to come.

Grade: B

FIRST LOOK: "The Americans" Season 2

A behind the scenes look at Season 2 of FX's The Americans, a really good show about a spies during the Cold War. Season 2 starts a week from today, on the 26th:

TEASER: "Orange is the New Black" Season 2

Finally, Orange is the New Black has a release date of June 6th, when the second season will drop on Netflix. Can't wait! Here's the teaser for the new batch of episodes:

TRAILER #2: "Game of Thrones" Season 4

The build-up continues, as a new exciting trailer for Game of Thrones (starting April 6th) drops:

REVIEW: "The Spoils of Babylon"

IFC's The Spoils of Babylon finished airing last Sunday night, and if you missed it, I encourage you to check it out. Produced by Funny or Die and created by Matt Piedmont and Andrew Steele, this was a six-part miniseries of sorts, a spoof on the epic miniseries of the 70's and 80's, with an all-star cast filling out every bit part over the course of each 22-minute episode. 

Will Ferrell is "Eric Jonrosh," the author of the non-existent novel the story is based on, and he opens and closes each episode with his recollections about the filming of the series, which he of course directed himself. A story that spans decades, it covers the classic tropes of the genre that are familiar to fans of old miniseries like The Thorn Birds or Rich Man, Poor Man- there's forbidden love, war,  corporate feuding, illegitimate children, etc. There's a joke about every two minutes, and while the show could be hit and miss at times, the hits were pretty great, and the series was so well cast that you almost get caught up in the actual story despite the soap opera ridiculousness of it all.

Tobey Maguire and Kristen Wiig are the stars, the Morehouse children who grow up as adopted siblings but of course fall in love at first sight. Maguire is unexpectedly funny as the pretentious and tortured Devon Morehouse, but Kristen Wiig especially is fantastic as Cynthia, whose lovelorn character actually seems to develop and change over the course of the series. Wiig is always game for silliness but she really nails the overwrought melodramatic scenes so well she could have easily fit into an episode of the genre they're spoofing. I hope she gets Emmy recognition later in the summer. Many actors seemed to want to be a part of this, and the supporting cast is filled out with people like Tim Robbins, Michael Sheen, Val Kilmer, Carey Mulligan, and most surprisingly, an all grown up Haley Joel Osment, who's actually pretty great as the treacherous son of Devon and Cynthia (once you get past the distraction of his having gained about forty pounds since the last time you saw probably saw him onscreen). Robbins is the other standout as the family patriarch- his every intonation and mannerism is hilarious without even trying.

There are jokes in every frame, from the way it's shot, lit, and acted- and you have to pay close attention sometimes to the introductions by Ferrell in the beginning to even get all of them through each particular episode. The whole project is kind of an oddball creation, but the actors are having a great time, and it's so outlandish and bizarrely funny that I hope it catches on and they can maybe do another one some time next year. Definitely worth watching.

Grade: A-